Notches
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: It's far easier to count the number of lives you've taken rather than the number you've saved...


**Notches**

The United Powers League had never relied on mercenaries.

That wasn't to say that mercenaries didn't exist within the UPL's sphere of influence. And Rosa Morales wasn't so naive as to think that Earth's government didn't employ mercenaries when it suited them. But officially, the UPL didn't use mercenaries, and by extension, nor had the UED that had succeeded it. Conscripting militias from the Koprulu sector? Fine. Allying with anti-Dominion groups in the sector? Fine. But mercenaries? Nup. There was something just unseemly about that, according to...someone.

For Rosa Morales, former UED member, now Dominion medic, she supposed it didn't matter. She hadn't liked the idea of employing mercenaries six years ago, and she'd been among those who'd been uneasy at the Confederate Resistance Forces being incorporated into the UED fleet so soon, without any proper vetting. Fears that had become well founded in the case of Samir Duran, but not long after that, it didn't matter. The fleet had been destroyed, and the CRF along with it.

 _And now where am I?_ she asked herself.

She knew the answer - the world of Y'sia VI, helping clear out a Moebius Corps base. But that wasn't the question she had in mind. Rather, she was left to ask how she could hold Duran in contempt, when she'd so easily transferred to the Dominion. Not that she'd actively betrayed her homeworld, yet she was left to ask, if the UED had turned up here, today, whose side would she be on? Against Moebius Corps and their ilk, the answer was easy. Against her homeworld? Not so much.

Even then, it wasn't always easy. Moebius Corps fought. They bled. They screamed. They did all that, and before they died, they caused those they fought against to go through the same motions. The men and women around her were bleeding, screaming, dying. In her head, she had a list of names and a list of times. Lists upon lists that refused to leave her memory.

 _P. D'nall, 11:59_

 _F. Grace, 12:24._

 _N. Cheong, 13:17_

Names and times only. Lists within lists. Lists growing ever longer. Blood flowing ever faster. Herself, striding ever forward, away from the screams and moans of the dying. Over towards the medivac dropship marked by the screaming skull. The one carrying mercenaries away from this world. The one prepping to leave.

 _Get back here._

She picked up her pace. The mercs were boarding the ship, but luckily, one of them was lingering outside the craft's hold. Well, technically two of them, but one of them was all she needed.

"Hey," Morales called out.

Her target saw her. Gave her 'the look.' Turned to go into the dropship.

"Hey!" Morales repeated, now running.

Her target began to walk.

"Get back here!"

She grabbed her target's arm, coming to a halt. The target looked at her with more venom than a scantid. Her companion gave her a more bemused look, but even if he was a Spectre, Morales didn't mind. She wanted one person from the Heaven's Devils, and one person only.

"What the fekk are you doing?" the target asked.

"You're not leaving."

"Fekk you I'm leaving." The target shooed her arm away and looked at the Spectre. "Get in the dropship Nux, this ain't gonna take long."

The Spectre nodded and entered the dropship's hold. In truth, Morales was glad to see him gone. Spectres were…well, Spectres. Weird. Aloof. In some cases, psychopathic. That the Dominion had a Spectre on their side here as a mercenary didn't say anything for the sanity of the dozens of psychopaths that Moebius Corps employed.

But then, she wasn't after the Spectre. She was after the Heaven's Devils medic. Lieutenant Layna Nikara. Someone who didn't appear to really utilize the rank, and in Morales's mind, sure as hell didn't deserve it.

"You're not leaving. Not yet."

Nikara smirked, causing Morales to clench a fist. They were of equal rank, they were both medics, and, yeah, they even kinda looked alike, but they weren't the same. Not where it counted.

"Says who?" Nikara asked.

Morales stood up straight. "Says me."

"Didn't think you were in command here."

"I'm not, but-"

"Yeah, so, I'm leaving." Nikara dropped the cigarette she was smoking and put it out with a power armoured foot. "You want me to stay longer, you or Admiral Horner are going to have to pay me."

Nikara turned around and headed for the dropship. Most of the Devils were caught up in some kind of dick measuring contest to really care what was going on outside, so Morales counted her lucky stars for that. Of course, her lucky stars were about 60,000 light years away, but again, beggars couldn't be choosers.

"We still need you," Morales said.

Nikara glanced back at her. "Are you…coming onto me?"

"I? No!"

"Sounds like you're coming onto me."

"I don't-"

"Ain't nothing to be ashamed of. Least here. Don't know what it's like on Earth, but-"

"For God's sake I'm not…" Morales paused, took a breath, counted to five, and composed herself. "The men need you."

"…okay, I swing that way, but-"

"You're a medic. They need you."

"Yeah, about that…" Nikara sauntered down from the dropship's ramp. Both women were wearing power armour, but much to Morales's frustration, Nikara was a tad taller. "Contract said we're here until Moebius Corps is wiped out. Guess what? They were wiped out. By Admiral Horner's forces and Mira's Marauders." Morales opened her mouth to speak, but Nikara kept going. "So, yeah, you can point to the Marauders staying around as proof of some kind of golden heart among mercs, but guess what? Ain't gold, it's silver. Silver rule."

 _Silver rule? You mean don't do unto others that which you wouldn't want done to yourself?_

Morales didn't say that though – it wouldn't do her case good to get bogged down in semantics.

"So, yeah, unless you got more coin, I'm off with the Devils to find my next contract."

Problem was, she wasn't sure what she _could_ say. Other than saying that Nikara was an excellent medic, but she wasn't going to reduce herself to flattery.

"Nothing" Nikara asked, smirking. "Well, fair enough. Ain't long till the tongue gets tied after it's been sucking for too long."

 _I…what?_

It took her only three seconds to process the insult. Took her a further two not to attack Nikara then and there.

"You're disgusting."

Not physically at least. But words were weapons. And that gave Nikara paused.

"You're a medic," Morales said. "And, fine, a good one. Field reports say as much."

"Thank you."

"But you're going to leave men and women to die because…because you haven't been _paid_?"

"Yeah, and?" Nikara took a step towards her. "How you any different?"

"The hell?"

"I said, how are you any different."

Morales stood there, rooted to the spot. In the dropship, she could see the Devils had all lined up, watching the show. Behind her…well, she couldn't be sure, but she had no-one. It occurred to her that in the time that she'd spent trying to convince Nikara to stay, she could have been tending to the wounded.

"No answer?" Nikara asked.

"Fekk you, I don't even know what you're on about."

A truth.

"Liar."

Not for Nikara though.

"Excuse me?" Morales asked.

"You're a liar," she said. "And a traitor."

"The hell you on about?"

"Lieutenant Rosa Morales? Former UED? Current Dominion Medical Corps member? Seems like you want flexibility in more ways than one."

"I…what?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Nikara said. "You're thinking 'oh, how did some low beat merc get to my file.' Or, if you read mine, you might be thinking 'how did dear Layna say that when she joined the Devils for the pay cheque?' Or, fekk it, anything else. But here's the thing – you're no different from me. You ain't on some moral high ground, you're just the one who came her with a force that tore up the place, and then switched sides. So, even if you ain't taking the money, you're only with the Dominion for yourself." She gave Morales a shove. "So don't come playing the saint game when you ain't one yourself."

"…I didn't invade."

She regretted the words immediately. There were so many going through her head, that she didn't know which ones to utter, and the first words that came out of her mouth were chosen at random.

"Yeah?" Nikara asked. "Then tell that to my brother."

Or so she hoped was random. If not…

"Your brother?"

"Braxis, 2500. One of the first to see you colonising fekkers."

If not, it meant that she really was the traitor that some saw her as.

"Remember him?"

And if that really was true, if she was lying to herself…

"No, of course not."

…then she had no leg to stand on.

"Go back to your men Morales," Nikara said. "Just don't give me the boscrap idea of you being any better than me."

…and that she had no hope of getting Layna Nikara to help any longer than she had to. That all she could do was stand there as the mercenary went over to collect her combat shield and head back to the dropship. Her shield that had seven notches on it, like some kind of kill count.

"What's with the notches?" Morales murmured.

Somehow, Nikara heard her. The medic/mercenary looked back and asked, "what?"

"Your combat shield. You have…" Morales did a quick count. "Seven notches. What, you got a kill count?"

"No," Nikara said. "It's how many lives I've saved as a medic." She sighed, facing the earth of Y'sia VI.

"Only seventeen?" Morales asked.

"Maybe." She looked back up. "Seventeen is when I stopped counting." She gave Morales a small smile. "You may be an Earther, but I bet even you once tried to save everyone you could, before you realized that death's number is way too high to tally."

Morales didn't say anything. She watched as the smile faded.

"Go do your shit Morales. Ain't gonna miss you."

Watched as Nikara entered the dropship. As she and the Devils filed back into the craft. As the ship began to take off, leaving the cold, blood-stained soil of this world behind.

"Morales!"

Watched as it soared through the atmosphere, escaping from her sight in the clouds above. Barely hearing the words of Major T'laq over the radio.

"Morales, where the fekk are you?!"

She decided to pick it up. "Here, Major."

"Yeah, I don't know where _here_ is, I just want you back _here_." A pause. "You know what I mean."

In spite of herself, she laughed. "I do, Sir."

"Good. Now move it."

Morales terminated the connection and gave the sky one last look. The dropship was beyond her sight. Sighing, she returned mind and body to the earth. On this world, so far from the planet that had "Earth" as its namesake.

She had lives to save.

There would always be lives to save.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _So I'll the ask the question here I also asked when I first saw Nikara's in-game model; why does a medic have a 'kill count' on her shield?_

 _Don't have the answer, but I did drabble this up._


End file.
